And the all-too-familiar shots of putting on underwear combined with several close-ups of Pete the smug interviewee proclaim that, yes, it is indeed Hans Rosenfeldt behind the metaphorical steering wheel of Marcella and he’s getting it all right so far. Even the annoying habit of Mark the technology whiz tending to throw in nonsensical computer jargon while explaining some complicated action he’s had to perform couldn’t turn me away from the screen, and that’s coming from someone who barely knows how to type. Let me tell you, the amount of times this post has been deleted by accident speaks for itself.
P.S. Who else is feeling very sorry for Mr Squiggles right now? (Or was it Mrs Snuggles?)
What’s Gone Down:
1. DTG Construction Squad Thread
- Lambeth is a go-go after Henry and Jason combine forces to make sure it goes through, meaning that BBB Sylvie has no choice but to give Jason his job back.
- Unfortunately, this job might soon be whisked away once again as it turns out that the man whom Jason pays to get “strategic intelligence” for use as leverage took his instructions to deal with Andrew Barnes, the property planner, a little too literally. Let’s just say that Andy has paid an unplanned trip to the morgue, and he’s not just visiting.
- By the way, the man who has so misinterpreted Jason’s remarks in this way is none other than Stuart, landlord of Dodgy Bendik (and that is my final revision of the spelling of his name. Many apologies.)
- Techno Mark has traced the IP from Cara’s sex site to the house of a Mrs Shaw, who is slightly surprised to say the least. It turns out her computer man is a Matthew Neale…whom we know, of course, as Tall Dark Handsome.
- Jan threw a tantrum (quite understandably) when he pulled out all of the stops to recreate his and Matthew’s first date, only for Matthew to leave and meet up with Henry, who described himself rather ambiguously as “up for some fun later”. Aren’t we all.
2. As Yet Unknown Illegal Worker and Man in Van Thread
- Dodgy Bendik was hauled in for questioning after the keycard dropped by the killer was found to be last used by him at a Premier Inn. Despite some seriously suspicious answers –not only did his lack of a diary mean all alibis were out of the question but he also said he knew all four victims shown to him…from the newspaper. I could feel Marcella’s frustration through the screen– he is apparently in the clear, as CCTV from reception shows someone all in black nicking the keycard right after he puts it down.
- For what it’s worth, a lesson for the police to learn: on seeing anyone dressed all in black the first assumption should be that they are up to something shady. Or the embodiment of European sophistication.
- A man in a van runs the risk of losing custody over his daughter May when he can’t keep up with the payments to her mother, but gets back from a midnight jaunt to find May potentially kidnapped and her babysitter suffocated –let’s all join in with that oh so familiar chorus — WITH A PLASTIC BAG.
3. Catching the Killer Thread
- Taxi driver Hassan tells Marcella that he saw a woman leaving Grace’s house and stuff something in the boot of her black Audi. Sadly for him, his brother Mohammed finds him with a gunshot wound to the head in the driving seat of his taxi.
- Speaking of Mohammed, the police are v eager to find him (Marcella = not so much) because the daft brushes have only just realised that it was him who was outside Grace’s house that evening and not poor Hassan.
- Leah Coombes, Cara’s flatmate, is arrested when it turns out that the necklace Cara gave her for her birthday is a) stolen, and b) chock-a-block full of cocaine. Guess what? It’s Grace’s necklace that Cara took from the killer! Meaning that Marcella didn’t kill her (probably.)
- Marcella’s interrogation of Peter; although her all too literal rubbing-it-in-his-face technique was a tad unprofessional in my view, it got results as she almost seduced him into admitting he had committed the murders 11 years ago. Taking a pause to put on the scent that Adrian had given Maddie and undo her shirt one more button was like watching Boadicea prepare for battle, and the visible relief on her face when he cracked made the scene no less powerful.
- While Marcella didn’t play fair, neither did Peter, and his pointed remark about it being Juliet’s birthday certainly hit home. Marcella’s beautiful ‘happy birthday’ speech to a photo of her late baby daughter was accompanied by several lit candles and the lullaby that she plays obsessively in moments of stress.
- That moment when I felt like we’d tuned into an episode of Miranda as Mrs Shaw leaned in to ask Grumpy Rav in a hushed tone if someone had been “having sex” in her computer. Yes, in it. How would that even work?
- Henry will sleep with Tall Dark Handsome, no question. And I’m about as jealous as Ginger Beardie will be when he finds out. <–Patience is a virtue, friends. Our time is coming.
- Bendik won’t be convicted of the murders, but he’s definitely done some shifty things in his time and you betcha those will catch up with him. There will be justice for that crucified dog!
- Mohammed will tell the police about the woman he saw, and will no doubt get shot for his trouble too. What do they do with all these bodies?
- Marcella will admit to Jason that she met with Grace on the night of her murder, putting forward the necklace as evidence that she didn’t kill her…and he will go to Rav with this information, piling on shitstorm after shitstorm onto the head of the forlorn Marcella.
- The adorable cupcake will dump Matthew’s ass. Good riddance, Jan, you deserve better.
Tills nästa vecka!