“Mondnacht” — Joseph Freiherr Von Eichendorff

“Mondnacht” — Joseph Freiherr Von Eichendorff

I definitely go through phases of poetic imagery. It may or may not be forcibly imprinted on your very consciousness I had quite a prolonged ‘water’ phase, my ‘spiritual vs. physical love’ phase is pretty much unabating, but ATTENTION. New phavourite phase (geddit?) is that of ‘moon’. It’s feminine. It’s mysterious. It looks decent from a distance but is grotesquely pockmarked and deformed if you look too closely. Yes, I like to think that the Moon and I have a few things in common.

P.S. “Mondnacht” under no circumstances means ‘Monday night’, apparently. Which means that there is still a gap in the market for a gloomy piece of unparalleled despondence about that all-too-familiar anxiety as Sunday evening draws to a close and the first morning of the working week becomes a dreary reality. In German, natürlich.

Read more

“For Her Surgery” — Jack Butler

“For Her Surgery” — Jack Butler

Greetings, adoring public! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I haven’t had much time for reading or writing recently (I can hear your sighs of relief from here), but everything is finally calming down and it looks like I may be returning to your screens relatively frequently, if you’re unlucky. So hold in those moans and groans, and while away a wee moment while we wend our merry way through a poem that is extremely topical for me. Panic not; it’s also the usual hellish combination of unutterably* complex and deeply depressing.

* So, because a) I love you all and value you and your clear-cut opinions on spelling more than ANYTHING**, and b) I have a strong tendency to use words which sound just perfect in context and have the added exotic lustre of not actually existing, I did a cheeky google of the word “unutterable” and found this website which makes me wonder what I did before an online dictionary of Victorian slang made itself known to me (and you, unless by sheer chance my reader base is comprised entirely of Victorian undergarment aficionados). You’re so welcome.

** Apart from the essentials, obviously, so clearly food, sleep and obscure Scandinavian crime dramas take precedence. Apologies.

Read more

Reviewing ITV’s “Marcella”; Series 1, Episode 6

Reviewing ITV’s “Marcella”; Series 1, Episode 6

I’d say there has been a mix of ups and downs during this episode. Yes, I was right to call Jason, Stephen, Stuart and Dodgy Bendik for generally being up to no good. But all of these smug correct predictions are nothing to the huge balls-up I made of The Jan Situation. AND TO THINK I CALLED HIM A CUPCAKE. Honestly, next time I abandon the plaintive charms of the hapless Matthew to favour his poor maligned boyfriend, I shall think again. Looking bemused and having a few meltdowns isn’t going to get you out of the extremely sticky question of how exactly your hair ended up in the hand of the suffocated babysitter.

On the other hand, hold your rapidly accelerating horses, for I have answers that might possibly save my little sweetcheeks from utter humiliation (but to be honest, going for the police officer’s throat during an interrogation isn’t ever going to go down too well, is it now).

Read more

“Imperium” – Robert Harris

“Imperium” – Robert Harris

*spoilers: DO NOT READ ON IF UNPREPARED*

The Classics geek in me reared its ugly head and snarled in gratified delight when I picked up Imperium, and I’ll be honest, I was ready to do some snarling here too. A book about CICERO??! Not only had I been so unfortunate as to study the longwinded rhetoric of this fine man during my unforgettable (for all the wrong reasons) Latin AS-level, but his letters to anyone and everyone pop up CONSTANTLY in every sphere of life, to greatly exaggerated eye-rolling on my part. This man had a lot of opinions. However, Robert Harris is a fabulous author and I was looking for some excitement –i.e. a new topic for my whining and raging– so I took a deep breath, dove in…and was converted to the cause. Isn’t it boring when I actually enjoy these books?

Read more

Reviewing ITV’s “Marcella”; Series 1, Episode 5

Reviewing ITV’s “Marcella”; Series 1, Episode 5

And the all-too-familiar shots of putting on underwear combined with several close-ups of Pete the smug interviewee proclaim that, yes, it is indeed Hans Rosenfeldt behind the metaphorical steering wheel of Marcella and he’s getting it all right so far. Even the annoying habit of Mark the technology whiz tending to throw in nonsensical computer jargon while explaining some complicated action he’s had to perform couldn’t turn me away from the screen, and that’s coming from someone who barely knows how to type. Let me tell you, the amount of times this post has been deleted by accident speaks for itself.

P.S. Who else is feeling very sorry for Mr Squiggles right now? (Or was it Mrs Snuggles?)

Read more

“The Remains of the Day” — Kazuo Ishiguro

“The Remains of the Day” — Kazuo Ishiguro

*spoilers: DO NOT READ ON IF UNPREPARED*

It is almost ridiculously laughable a tad on the silly side that I had to think for a long moment about whether to class this book as a work of Japanese or English literature in the “Categories and Tags” section –if Wikipedia is not your friend, I can share with you that Ishiguro was born in Nagasaki but moved to London at the age of 5– but thankfully realisation thwacked me metaphorically on the head not too long afterwards: how could I pop this one in any other category than that of the most thoroughly English of natures? For one, it’s about a butler, so unless the Queen decides to pen an autobiography (Majesty, I would consider it an honour if the idea appeals. Big love to all the fam.) I’m not sure how much more ‘English’ one can get.

Read more

Reviewing ITV’s “Marcella”; Series 1, Episode 4

Reviewing ITV’s “Marcella”; Series 1, Episode 4

Fantastic estate-agent shots of Grace’s exquisite townhouse aside, I’m not sure I have quite recovered from the trauma of this week’s episode, and it can only really go downhill from here. Now I’m not one to count my chickens before they’ve hatched, but it looks like the little idea I hatched about more than one murderer might have just occurred to Marcella too so can we all celebrate the one and only prediction I’ve ever got right (please Hans, let me have this one?!) However, it does also seem that Marcella is looking a leetle on the guilty side herself at the mo, so maybe being on the same wavelength is not something to write home about after all. For what it is worth, I have a great working relationship with the pregnant mistress of my ex-husband (sorry, sorry, current husband. THEY WERE ON A BREAK*). Let us proceed.

Read more